Friday, July 13, 2012

Quarterly Report

It has been nearly three months now since Mr. Aardvark and I said our vows. I thought I would take this chance to share my thoughts on marriage, from the other side. After all, when the candles are burned down, the flowers wilted, the cake eaten, and the dances danced, what is left of the wedding, as a lasting souvenir, is a marriage. 

In the weeks following the wedding, there was a huge sense of relief. We had planned and executed a pretty awesome event. I did not have the post wedding blues that some people talk about.  I did have a few twinges of "someday, when I get married..." thoughts that I had to shake off.  That was a bit strange and bittersweet. But slowly I began to get a feel for my new roll, Wife.


While I had been enthusiastically awaiting the title of wife, it came with a weight I was not expecting, not a bad weight, but a weight like a nice necklace or well made jacket. I felt a new responsibility to my husband and my marriage. That responsibility, honestly scared the bejeezus out of me. This was compounded by the fact that some of the best, strongest, people I know had stood where I stood and were unable to make marriages work. I shared my fears with Mr. Aardvark. He didn't offer any answers or solutions, but somehow, the fear seemed to ebb away. I think it was the realization that this weight and responsibility was not mine to carry alone. Marriage, is a job for two.  Knowing he had my back, and I had his, and we were both standing guard over our marriage, first and foremost, is a realization that I keep having. Having a partner who understands that our marriage is precious,  is an invaluable gift. 


I am sure there will be much more to figure out as the road unfolds before us. Right now, the biggest thing I have learned, is that marriage is about balance. Each day is a fresh opportunity to strike that balance. Meaning, a day can be horrible, but that does not mean anything for the next day, or the day after. We are constantly given the opportunity to re-set. While this is wonderful, it also means we cannot set auto pilot. With a marriage being made of two people constantly growing and changing, it is their responsibility to remain vigilant that they stay on the same path.  

(Sorry for the corny "path" reference but I adore this photo)  Photo by MichaelTerri Studios

Of course, there will be help along the way from outside forces. I cannot believe it was 297 days ago, that I made my first official post as a Blogger Bee. Lord knows I was an avid reader/ board stalker long before that! The Hive offered me perspective, encouragement and support as I planned my wedding from 400 miles away. With family and friends spread near and far (and busy with their own lives) you offered me a sounding board, a brainstorm team, and a place to vent. Without all of you, I would have been lost, my bridesmaids would have been overwhelmed with e-mails about veil options, shoes and flower alternatives, and my wedding would not have been what it was. From the bottom of my heart, really and truly, thank you. Thank you so much, for everything! Your sweet comments, and clever suggestions helped me keep it together when the planning got hectic or the craft list too tall. Again, thank you.


There were times when the planning was so stressful, I couldn't wait to just be married and done with it. While part of me is so happy not to have to worry about favors or flowers or any of that for a change, I will truly miss this part. In fact, I have been putting off writing this just because I wanted to hang on as an "active blogger" for a while longer.... But I realized, If I waited too long, it would just make it that much harder. Hive, you are an oasis in an internet full of spam, pop ups and useless babble. For that, thank you.

As I navigate the first months of marriage, I am still figuring it out. In fact, if I ever stop trying to figure it out, I think I will be doing it wrong. To all of you still planning, I wish you the best! I hope that everything comes together as you imagine. Know that things will go awry. Maybe you will face-plant coming out of the church, maybe you will get beer spilled on you, maybe your shoe will go flying during your first dance! All of that (or whatever that is at your wedding) will add color to the story of the beginning of the rest of your life. I hope, even if nothing goes perfectly, you are able to look back and smile, but more importantly, most importantly,  I hope you carry the weight of your marriage with ease, and with a partner who knows how precious it is.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

For the Love of Love: Dance the Night Away

After the vows were said, pictures taken, dinner served, cake cut (and eaten), and assorted accessories tossed, there was only one thing left to do. Party.


The picture above is one of my favorites, and the very last one in our wedding album. I was SO happy about how much dancing went on. I must admit, I was a little nervous because our dance space was not very big. However, I think this worked in our favor because it didn't take too many people for the dance floor to look "packed".


Our DJ, Guy Voss, was recommended by both our photographer and a co-worker of my mom's who recently got married. He did a great job or reading the crowd and keeping us on the floor, while also hitting just about every song on the "must play" list.


Not sure what song either the picture above or below was taken during, but clearly it was one we could jam to.


I spent pretty much the whole night on the dance floor. Every once in awhile Mr. Aardvark would go take a break and chat up some of his less dancey friends, but then he would be back, to boogie down with his bride.


In this shot, you can see the fabric scrap curtain that we made at the last minute. I figured it would tie in our colors and prevent curious passerby's from seeing our amazing dance skills (skillz?).


We were not the only people bustin' moves. There were several surprise dance floor stars, including MOH MD's Mom. I think, judging by the picture below, she even surprised herself!


The Bridesmoms made an appearance in the middle of a dance off. (Half of which is pictured here)


Of course Papa Aardvark was cutting a rug all night. This picture of him dancing with Bridesmaid sis is one of my all time favorites.


A wedding dance would not be complete without some sort of line dance. I don't really know which one this was but as you can see, there was a bit of confusion.



And that was when the photographers left. But the night was far from over. We danced and danced for a few more hours. Around 10:30, the baked potato bar opened up and flocks of hungry (possibly drunk) dancing fools filled their bowls with bacon and cheese and potato-y goodness. Sadly I was still full from cake and dinner so I did not partake, but it was a big hit.

We danced a few more, and then it was time to call it a night. Everyone was hugging us, toasting us, and thanking us for the great time. We were beside ourselves thanking them for coming, celebrating and bringing gifts (which by some amazing act, had been loaded into my parent's car.) There were a handful of guests who had really enjoyed themselves who were talking about heading out to a bar. From what I heard, they never made it to the bar because their designated people just took them back to the hotel (good choice).

Amid the never ending good-byes, and milling about, at some point Mr. Aardvark decided we should make our escape (thank goodness or we would still be standing there hugging and chatting with great aunts and first cousins!). With one last big, "GOODNIGHT EVERYONE! THANKS! SEE YOU IN THE MORNING!" we slipped out the front door into the night.

We walked hand in hand back to the hotel. Oddly, despite the fact that everyone had booked rooms at the same hotel, we didn't see anyone on the way back.  It was cool, and clear and for the first time all day, quiet. Walking the dark streets of my home town hand in hand with my husband was totally surreal and magical. It was a perfect end to a perfect day, and a perfect beginning to the rest of our lives.




All photos by Michael Terri Studios Unless otherwise noted.


Miss a recap? Don't fret! Here they are!


1.) For the Love of Love: Practice Makes Perfect

Monday, July 2, 2012

For the Love of Love: Surprise Photo Booth

Like most brides with an internet connection, I had toyed with the idea of a photo booth. I loved the goofy and cute pictures that other people had gotten with them. Sadly, I lacked the time and budget to find one I loved. 

Happily, once our photographers had gotten most of the key moments shot, and some dancing pictures, they went off to the back of the restaurant and set up... A PHOTO BOOTH! They may have mentioned that they would do this, time permitting, but I had just forgotten about it. A great case of a poor memory leading to a pleasant surprise. Another pleasant surprise was the backdrop. Apparently Arcadia has a really cool freight elevator  that just happened to be in the perfect spot to set up a photo booth. SCORE!
Mr. Aardvark thinks these pictures look like movie promo shots. And I have to say I agree, but I'm not sure what the movie would be about(.... A rockin' wedding reception?). Without further delay, my faves from the photo booth:


It's a good thing he is smiling in this picture, because he was not expecting me to jump on him!


I am not sure why we are making these faces... but this is a fave for sure (with Mama and (the other) Grandma Aardvark)


It was this picture that made me realize two things 1) My friends are very strong and 2) I have a crooked "thumbs up".

The picture below is another of my favorites. It's the "Christmas Eve Crew." Made up of MOH MD, her brother, and the "kids" of another family friend. The six of us grew up together, mostly because our parents are BFFs but also because, as we turned into our own people, we all turned into people that were fun to be around. Now a days, we don't see each other very much, living all over the place as we do, however, we still make a point to get together every Christmas Eve as our parents have since we can remember. 


We joked when we first saw this picture, You can tell who "married into the group" (Mr. Aardvark on the far right and the gentleman on the far left) because they are smiling normally and did not bring their beverage to the photo booth. Everyone else is doing something weird and we wouldn't have it any other way!



Are you having/did you have a photo booth?



All photos by Michael Terri Studios Unless otherwise noted.


Miss a recap? Don't fret! Here they are!


1.) For the Love of Love: Practice Makes Perfect

Friday, June 29, 2012

For the Love of Love: Tosses After All

After the first dances, the music started pumping and the dance floor was packed! I have to say this made me very happy. The party was in full swing. After about an hour or so of dancing, the DJ let us know it was time. Time for tosses.

If you recall, I fretted over whether or not to do tosses for a long time. I was SUPER on the fence. Mr. Aardvark was not really much help with a sweet, "Whatever you want to do dear." Every time I asked what we should do. In the end, we decided to toss. No real reason. It could have come down to a coin flip. 

The DJ called all the single ladies to the floor with the now ubiquitous bouquet toss anthem, Beyonce's Single Ladies. I was warned that the ceiling was low so I would have to be careful and not get too crazy with my toss.  


Of course, never being a high achiever at anything that involved throwing, catching or making two things come in contact in any way, I gave my bouquet what I thought was a gentle toss toward the gathered ladies.

It promptly it the ceiling and landed with a splat about two feet in front of them. Oops.


Unbeknownst to me, my sister and cousin had drug my grandma into the waiting crowd. My sister (above) scooped up the bouquet and presented it too her. I thought this was a really sweet gesture and the perfect ending to my should-I-shouldn't-I bouquet toss!


And now I have this great picture of my cousin, Grandma, and I!


Now, the garter toss was the part that I was most worried about. The part where my brand new husband takes off a bit of my under pinnings in front of all our gathered family and friends! My fear was added to by the fact that I did not have a long dress. It's all fun and games when a groom ducks under a big cupcake skirt, but it would be straight up raunchy for there to be any under skirt shenanigans in my short dress!

I should have know my worry was uncalled for. Mr. Aardvark is a classy dude. That is one of the many reasons I married him. Once I was perched on a chair, and the single dudes gathered, he began to circle the chair in a "where is it?" kind of way. He looked under the chair... Not there. He looked behind the chair...Not there. He shrugged toward the gathered crowd asking for help. "ON HER LEG!" someone yelled. He checked my ankle... Not there. "Higher!" one of the waiting dudes yelled. He checked my knee....Not there. "Under the skirt!!" yelled another waiting dude. He sheepishly stuck slipped his hand past my knee and finally found his prize!


He quickly removed it and launched it slingshot style to the waiting crowd. I later gave him grief for not turning his back to them first. He said he was nervous and forgot. He's so cute!


My little brother is SUPER competitive. He will do anything if you set it up as a challenge. This was no different. He, being nine, does not really have any desire to "be the next to marry" and we decided long ago that there would be no placing of the garter on the leg of the bouquet catcher. He just wanted to win the toss. And he did. Which is fitting, but sort of funny, and a little bit awkward as well. he was spotted later in the evening wearing the garter as a headband, (un) fortunately I have yet to see photo graphic evidence of this. Silly boys.

In all, I was glad we did the tosses. They were fun and not too awkward. No one (except  maybe my grandma) was dragged to the floor by friends. I don't know that I would have missed them horribly if we had skipped them either though... So I guess I am not much help if you are struggling with the question "to toss or not to toss?". When it comes down to it, go with your gut.

Are you/did toss? Did you have any interesting "catchers?"




All photos by Michael Terri Studios Unless otherwise noted.


Miss a recap? Don't fret! Here they are!


1.) For the Love of Love: Practice Makes Perfect


Thursday, June 28, 2012

For the Love of Love: May I Have This Dance?

Before I get into our first dances, I need to talk about shoes. I know, I know, I have said my bit about shoes more  than once already. Humor me. 

You see, my bridesmaids loved the look of the pink shoes they all rocked, but unless properly broken in, they.were.not.comfortable. (oops). Mama Aardvark, being the very clever lady she is, carried a pair of flats with her most of the day, in case anyone needed them. By the time we had started outdoor pictures, bridesmaid Red had called dibs on them. 

Now, Red is also a clever lady and had planned all along to change shoes for the reception. Once she changed, she left the extra shoes on my chair in hopes that they would find their way back to Mama Aardvark.

I on the other hand am not a clever lady. I am the one who will hobble around all night in heels until my feet are bloody nubs. I refuse to go barefoot when I am dressed up (which is odd because I am normally barefoot any other time). I had picked a reasonably comfortable heel for the wedding day and decided to stick with it. I would be fine. I am tough. Or so I thought.

I had not realized just how much time I would spend on my feet in these shoes! By the time our cocktail hour was wrapping up I was hurtin' for certain. As I hobbled over to our table for dinner, like a miraculous gift, I found my mom's flats on my chair! In no time at all they were on my feet and my dreams of dancing all night were restored!

Before I could dance all night, I needed to dance with my husband! The DJ called everyone over and we took the floor. The music started  and we began to dance. We started off with a little Jr. High Sway.


And then tried for a twirl. This is where things get interesting. My new found happy-heaven-foot-clouds (aka flat shoes) where not what I had practiced dancing in. As you can see below, the shoes were no match for our twirling skills in a split second one of my shoes was flying across the dance floor.


For a split second I thought about going after it, but decided it was not worth the hassle. I figured there was some Cinderella symbolism there somewhere.


And shoes or no, we were married and dancing together as husband and wife! All too soon the music ended.


Then it was time for my dad and I to dance. I fetched my shoe and the DJ started the music. Now, I have been told on several different occasions that I have no rhythm, however, I don't think that is true. My dad and I can keep tempo dancing together just fine. Whether or not that temp matches the music is a different story, but at least I come by it honestly.


We had so much fun during our daddy daughter dance, there was no time to get teary . The up beat song had us moving fast enough that there was not much chatting. However, papa Aardvark did say, "The biggest feeling I've felt today is pride." Aww shucks Papa Aardvark! I did not full on cry, but I sure did mist up!


With both of my shoes still on, I left the dance floor to MIL and Mr. Aardvark.


It was so sweet to watch them twirling around. I really think they had fun. It was so nice to see such big smiles on both of their faces.


We had one more dance to go before the floor was open to everyone. We had an anniversary dance. While I like this idea anyway, we had even more reason to do one. You see, BIL and SIL Aardvark share our wedding date. Only they tied the knot five years earlier. When we were planning I asked (several times) if they were sure it was ok that we would share. SIL was so sweet. She said she was excited and the fact that it was five years made it even better because we would hit major milestones together! (anniversary trips anyone?)

We knew we had to do something special, so, for the anniversary dance we played their first dance song, James Taylor's Secret of Life.


The DJ called all of the married couples to the floor. As soon as the music started, I got a smile from SIL Aardvark. It was so nice to do that for them and a tiny way to thank them for sharing their wedding date with us! As the DJ called out lengths of time and couples shuffled to the endges of the floor, he called, "4 years, 364 days?" And then announced his reasoning. The Aardvark in-laws got a big round of applause.

As the song went on, fewer and fewer people were left on the floor until finally  the last couple was spinning out there all by themselves. My Great Aunt and Uncle. They had been married for forty two years! I love this picture of them! They still look so in love!



Before I knew it, the "required dances were over and it was time to boogy!


All photos by Michael Terri Studios Unless otherwise noted.


Miss a recap? Don't fret! Here they are!

13.) For the Love of Love: Something Sweet

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

For the Love of Love: Something Sweet

We decided to cut the cake right away after dinner. The main reason behind this was so the staff could remove the tables from the dance floor without having to awkwardly tell the guests to scoot their boot! (We warned those sitting at the dance floor tables with little signs saying they better be ready to shake their booty all night.... Also we reserved the bar seats for them so they could sit if they needed too.) 

So, once the last of the guests had gone up for seconds (thirds?) The DJ announced that it was time to cut the cake!


I was never one to dream about a fancy or elaborate wedding cake. If it was too artful, I would have felt bad about cutting/eating it! I found an inspiration picture right here on the Bee and the bakery executed it perfectly!


I had made Mr. Aardvark practice cutting things with me before the wedding so we had this down! The trick is to not cut a whole piece out, just a little cube to share.


The beer cans and heart garland made a nice (if non-traditional) backdrop! I had warned Mr. Aardvark that if there was any cake smashing he would live to regret it. Lucky for me him, he was pretty nice. Only a smudge of frosting on my nose.

I got him back though! He also go a smudge on his nose! Vengeance was mine! And then we made up!



The whole thing went so much faster than I thought it would. I realized we were only cutting into and then eating a bite of cake, but for some reason, I thought there would be more too it. More...staging maybe? I don't really know. What I do know was the cake tasted AMAZING. I was very sad to find out, upon returning from our honeymoon that all the leftovers were eaten! (We did not bother to freeze the top layer). Continental Bakery  always does a great job with cakes and our wedding was no exception. 

With the cake eaten, it was almost time to dance! 

All photos by Michael Terri Studios Unless otherwise noted.

Miss a recap? Don't fret! Here they are!



Tuesday, June 26, 2012

For the Love of Love: Cheers!

After our grand entrance, we joined our guest who were enjoying cocktail hour. Because time was limited at the church, we did not have a receiving line. I was bound an determined to get to every guest (or at least every group of guests) to say hello and thank them for coming. I figured the more hellos I got in now, the more food I could eat during dinner. As it turned out, our table was right in front of the buffet, so everyone filed by on their way to get food. This was totally unplanned but totally awesome. We chatted at length with everyone. We got to sit and eat our dinner. We may have talked with our mouths full. I am sure this is some kind of major etiquette breech, eating while your guests wait for food, or something, but for our casual brewery reception, it was perfect. And really we did not do that much mouth-full talking. 

I'm getting ahead of myself though! After we had made the rounds, our DJ told us it was almost time for toasts, so we rounded up our toasters (wait, is that what you call them? Toastees??) And settled in. 

Fist up was Papa Aardvark, he is a great public speaker, so I knew even if he went on for a while it wouldn't be too ramble-y. He kept it short and sweet, thanking everyone for sharing our day, welcoming Mr. Aardvark's family to ours and saying as a parent, all he could hope for was happiness for his children, and it looked like I was on the right track.

Yes, my dad is wearing red shoes. They are limited edition  "podium shoes" for bike racers...I gave them to him a few months ago and he asked if he could rock them for the reception.
(See where I get my cyclist geek tendencies from?)


One down, no tears! We are rocking and rolling. Next up was BIL Aardvark. (Also know as Best Man Aardvark)


Things were going well, he told a really sweet story about how, as kids on a winter camping trip, Mr. Aardvark helped him chip frozen pasta out of bowl they were trying to wash dishes. His (great) point was that Mr. Aardvark was the type of guy who will do what needs to be done, even if it is a crappy, soggy, cold job. He also talked about how I was so cheerful, all the time and he imagined us coming home from our adventures with sink full of clean dishes and smiles on our faces. That was one of my favorite lines of the whole night, because it's pretty much spot on. It was a truly sweet toast and it looked like I was two for two on no tears!


Of course, things on a wedding day can never go perfectly according to plan. As BIL Aardvark came over to give us hugs, something happened, something in slow motion, something I think every bride fears in the back of her head. 

I don't remember the exact logistics of it, and the videographer had panned to the guests to get their reaction to the toast, so no hard evidence exists. However somewhere between the "lets hug" and the "lets clink glasses" Mr. Aardvark's beer got knocked over. ALL OVER my lap. I am pretty sure he knocked it over himself, but his brother was mortified! I stood up, and miracle of miracles, most of the beer rolled off my dress (cool unknown per to dupioni silk?). Without thinking, I pulled out my grandpa's hanky and sopped up the rest from my chair (so far I had been tear free I shouldn't need it!). waitresses came running with more napkins and in no time at all everything was as it had been. Except the hanky which was soaked in beer still. My uncle later pointed out that this was fitting as grandpa would have wanted some beer if he was there. 

Surprising even myself, I was not the least bit upset by the entire incident. My dress was fine, no harm was done (aside from loss of beer) and now everyone had a great story to tell about our toasts! Poor BIL Aardvark felt HORRIBLE though! I eased his worry by telling him I was relieved he was the one to spill on me, because if someone else hadn't, I would have! Let's be honest, there is a good reason there is no white in my closet.

With all of the excitement contained it was time for MOH MD's toast. I should preface this by saying, I grew up with MD, we were always going on trips together with our families, and we have been through everything together. I should also say that she is a crier. She cried watching Full House when we were little, she gets misty reading magazine adds, and so far today, she had been pretty dry eyed. It had to end sometime.... She told everyone how she had written six speeches, each one making her bawl, but each seeming way to rigid and formal for our friendship. \


In, what I can only imagine was an attempt to keep things light, she told the story of how, when her brother was born, I insisted on wearing a dog costume to the hospital when we went to see him. And how upon getting there and realizing that despite my dog costume, I was not the center of attention, I pooped my pants! (I was 2!) I was a little shocked that she had brought up a pants pooping story on my wedding day (I guess I just told it to the whole wide internet...), but I assured her, and everyone else, that I was getting plenty of attention today, so, no need to worry....

But then after a good laugh, she did what she does best, she spoke from the heart, about how I've always know who I was and what I wanted, and how some people get into relationships and those things change, but with Mr. Aardvark and I, that was not the case, he made me a better person not a different person, and she was so happy that he would be part of our family now. Of course, at this point she was full on crying, and for the first time all day, I was too. I was so touched that she felt so strongly about our marriage. I was so touched that she had such sweet things to say! I could not believe that a toast that started out with pants pooping could turn out so heart felt!  

Guest Photo (theONLY one of me crying all day)

So, we raised our glasses and toasted again! We were feeling so blessed and loved and also ready to eat!


I dried the last of my tears, and we thanked our guests for coming from near and far to be with us. 


Mr. Aardvark and I lead grace which was a very nice, symbolic first act as a newly married couple.

Guest photo

Then it was time to dig in! We filled our plates and chatted with guests as they filled theirs. Everyone raved about the food and we spied a few people going up for seconds! Before we knew it, the DJ was giving us a 5 minute warning for cake cutting. HOLY COW! The day was flying!



All photos by Michael Terri Studios Unless otherwise noted.

Miss a recap? Don't fret! Here they are!

1.) For the Love of Love: Practice Makes Perfect
2.) For the Love of Love: DIY Flowers]
4.) For the Love of Love: Dudes Become Gentlemen
5.) For the Love of Love: The Girls get Fancy
6.) For the Love of Love: Final Moments as A Miss
7.) For the Love of Love: Before God & Everybody
8.) For the Love of Love: "Formals"
9.) For the Love of Love: A Stroll in the Park
10.) For the Love of Love: The Switcheroo
11.) For the Love of Love: Time to Party