Family

I know I have talked about family before.(hey there is a lot to talk about.) However, this weekend we were in Michigan getting stuff done for the wedding with my parental squad plus the in laws to be. And let me tell you we got a tone of stuff done! ( more on that to come)

This story is about realizing that our upcoming marriage has grown/created a real family. We are having my 10 year old brother as a groomsman. When we were trying to decide everyones roll Mr. Aardvark suggested my little bro as a GM (which I thought was super sweet of him). We did not have to think too hard before deciding. That this was a great idea. As Mr.Aardvark said, "well, he is a kid now... But in ten or twenty years he will not be a kid and he will still be part of our family and I think it's important for him to be part of our important day." what a great point!

This was a while ago, but it really drove home the solid foundation we were building for the growth of our two families. Seeing my soon to be in laws play with my brother this weekend has driven home that point even more. We will be not only creating a new family, but we will also be fusing two fully established families and to me, that is a beautiful thing.

How did your engagement effect your family situation?

Stock Full of Excitement

Once upon a time I thought I had a pretty good handle on the whole wedding dress situation. I was not shopping for a dress, I had a pattern, a seamstress, some fantastic fabric swatches and even a fitting under my belt. Smooth sailing and blue sky ahead. No worries in the world. In fact, one could say that I was feeling a bit smug over the whole thing. I had cut all the stress out of wedding dress shopping. It was nothing but perfect, custom made fun for this Aardvark! The only major thing left to do was order the fabric I had so carefully selected months ago and wait for January to roll around for my first real dress fitting (as opposed to muslin). Easy peasy lemon squeezy right?

Wrong.

Today, I thought I would bop onto Fabric.com for a quick sec and order up my fabric. Welp hive, fate had other plans. The beautiful dupioni silk I had been fantasizing about since, ohhhh June, was out of stock! That's right! my beautiful UK-591 was GONE. 0 yards in stock. And the runner up fabric, my second choice, only 12 yards left. (I know 12 yards is a lot, but it's not quite the 17 my dress will be needing (yes, just wait, it will knock your socks off! (as long as I get fabric for it))) I sent a slightly panicked e-mail to my seamstress, took a deep break and started looking for alternatives. I got another set of swatches ordered from a new website within 15 min or so.  I would not quite say crisis averted, but I was feeling like I had a handle on things. On top of all this there was the fact that I may or may not have been at work where a full blown bridal meltdown may (or may not) have been frowned upon.

I told myself everything would be ok. I reminded myself of what MOH MD had said when my first bridal crisis of not know which shoes to wear came up. "Aardvark, let's define 'Bridal Crisis'. Mr. Aardvark dying, Mr. Aardvark changing his mind about the wedding, that's about it. Shoes are not on this list." (See why I love her) This was not either of these two things, but it was a bigger deal than shoes for sure. I figured I would come home and order the liner fabric. My thought was this would at least help me feel like I was getting something done.

Having studied textiles in school and working in the apparel industry has not done good things for my already snob-prone self. I had decided that I wanted all natural fibers and had found a lovely silk/cotton blend that would be a perfect liner for my dress. I had very carefully sifted through my various white swatches to find the one that best matched UK-591. Can you guess what happened next? I logged on and guess what was out of stock? Yep! My first choice liner fabric! Could nothing go right?! (ok maybe that was a bit over dramatic, but really!?)

On the left is my first choice the other two are A)too white and B) too ivory. What?? you can't tell?? Ok here's a better picture.

At this point, I may or may not have had a full blown pout-party. I tossed my B-is-for-better attitude out the window. I came this close to full on crying. Never mind the fact that I had not yet heard back from the seamstress (meaning we may have time to wait for all the fabric to come back into stock). Never mind the fact that a whole pile of new swatches would be at my door in two days. Never mind the fact that this was fabric for the liner i.e. the inside of the dress and as long as it wasn't, say, acid green, no one would be able to see it. None of this mattered at this point. All that mattered was that my picture perfect dress plan was unraveling (ahhh puns make everything better).

Mr. Aardvark was very sweet about the whole thing. He didn't try to point out the logical arguments stated above because he knew I would figure them out eventually. He just gave be a big hug and made me dinner and reassured me that everything will be alright.

I ordered some new liner swatches and loads of tule for veil and flower girl projects and called it a night. I had time. I could use rush shipping if I needed to. Everything would be ok. I would hold my horses, wait until I hear from the seamstress and take a chill pill.

Did you hit a totally unexpected roadblocks with your dress?

I Win!

So, you may not know this about me, but I am highly competitive. One of the reasons I applied here as a blogger is to challenge myself as writer. I often channel this competitive streak into athletics. I race my bike, swim or roller derby my way into a socially acceptable person that doesn't have to "win" at everything in everyday life.

However, I have noticed in the past few months that, while my work-out routine has not completely vanished, it has slowed to a trickle. On top of that, I have not been to a race (or bout in the case of derby) in a looooonnnnggg time. I was really missing the all out effort followed by a win (or is some cases all out effort followed my a non-win followed by more effort).

As much as I want to get it in gear and be a general badass, I feel like there is only enough energy there for marginal bad-ass-ness. And that's when it hit me. The Wedding! The wedding is soaking up all of my extra energy and time! When I used to be training, now I am surfing inspiration sites! When I used to be visualizing the win now I am hot gluing and corner punching like a mad woman! There is still a big end goal, a beautiful wedding as kick-off to loving marriage, but you can't really win at weddings. (Unless you are on TV (I'm looking at you Four Weddings!)) I enjoy planning and crafting, but who knew it could occupy such a big part of my life!

I think part of it is due to our short (ish) engagement. Just over nine months to plan a big Catholic wedding is not quite in crazy territory but it gets rid of the lull time that I have heard so much about. (As a side note, I kept meaning to write a post about lull time but I kept having wedding related things pop up! Now we are less than five months away and more to do than ever!)

I am thinking (hoping) that after the wedding, as our lives shape into a married routine without huge event planning, I (we) will get back into the swing of racing. For now, obsessing over the endless detail that is our wedding has taken a large chunk of mental(/emotional/time)  real estate. (To be fair it had been squatting on the property for some time before the engagement) It was not an all at once change. It has been happening slowly and escalating as the wedding draws near. I wonder if the shift back will be as gradual or if it will be more sudden?

Have you noticed a big change in your life due to wedding planning? (other than, of course, getting married) Or are you one of those magic people who somehow manage to do it all and add the wedding on top? (If so how??)

First Fit.

I know that I told you I was not going to show my dress until the wedding, and I know that it's a little rude to talk about it and then not show you, but this is kind of a big deal part of the wedding planning and I felt I had to share!

Tomorrow is my first fitting! I am so nervous and excited. My mama Aardvark is even coming to Wisconsin to come with me since I deprived her the fun of actual dress shopping by dress-not-shopping. This will be the first time I have actually had a wedding dress on, Not counting the ones I tried on at the second-hand store that had any combination of stains, sleeves from the 80s and beaded fringe (the fringe was actually a bit appealing but the placement was in poor taste).

 I am hoping tomorrow I will feel totally at ease with my choice to not go shopping. I am hopping the dress looks as good on me, and is as bridal as I imagine it will be. I am hoping that even though this is only a muslin mock-up, I will be able to envision everything the way it will be for the the wedding. I am hoping it is comfortable. I am hoping it helps me narrow down veil concepts. I am hoping the shoes I spent so long obsessing over go with it.  As you can see, there is a lot of hope riding on tomorrow's fitting. (I hope I am not building it up to be something its not?)

And now, because I am a total Tease, I will show you handful of dress patterns, one of which is mine. They are all from Vogue Patterns Vintage section and I really like all of them. Maybe I will make each one in time. Of course, I will be going with a more traditional white and or ivory for the one I am having made so you will have to use your imagination a bit!

I cannot wait to try mine on! And I cannot wait to show you all in a few short months!

Did you have a lot riding on a dress fitting? How did it work out for you?

One Way to Know...

I could spend a whole post, or even a series of post and maybe even a whole blog, talking about how you know it's love. Or how you know you've found "the one". There are countless ways to measure and evaluate this and even more details to debate on the nature of love and commitment. As fascinating as all of this is, there is one rather alarming sign of love that I have encountered recently: A new found fear of flying.

I have heard of people who developed fears out of the blue or even after a traumatic event. But developing a fear because you are in love?! That sounds like crazy talk! I have been flying for a long time and have always found the experience enjoyable, even in tiny planes. Even in planes that I happen to be jumping out of!



Yes, when I was a young Aardvark of only 18 I decided it would be
 worth while to jump out of a perfectly good Airplane



However, in recent months I have been traveling more for work. This of course involves getting on more planes. I have not had the super panicky fear of flying that some people have but I have had a certain uneasiness that is  totally new to me. I found myself counting the rows to the nearest exit and paying EXTRA attention to the safety briefs. When flying over water I found my inner lifeguard wondering who would need the most help in the event of a water-landing. Where were these rather morbid thoughts coming from!?

I spoke with my step mom about this and it turns out it is not uncommon at all! Many people develop fear of flying as a direct result of falling in love. She herself had experienced this after years of worry-free travel. It is so common in fact that there are self help books and meditation tapes about it! I don't think that I will need to go that far to remedy the problem, but it is fascinating how the human brain (and heart) work!

Like I said, there are lots of other hints that Mr. Aardvark is the one for me (he cleans my bike without me asking, he folds all the socks just because I hate doing it, I could go on and on), and I would by no means base my decision to spend the rest of our lives together on an irrational fear of flying! But it is interesting that I am not alone in this.

How did you know it was love? Did you develop any irrational fears?

OME!

That would be: OOooh! My Earrings! as in my wedding earrings!

I know, I know I have not picked a veil nor tried on my dress (first fitting is in a week and a half though! Woohoo!) how could I be picking earrings already!? But the fact of the matter is, they found me. I signed up for Dress Rush when they had that sweet deal here on Weddingbee and scored a $25 dollar gift card to Tigerlilly Jewelry for FREE! I have to say, even if I hadn't scored the gift card I would have been very happy to learn about Tigerlilly. Beautiful jewelery, fairly reasonable prices, and the option to customize! Sign me up!

So I poked around on the site for awhile, contemplated commissioning a custom piece and then I found The Georgia! (Please forgive the cell phone pictures! I was trying to be super sneaky so Mr. Aardvark wouldn't see!)



Cute little Box!

They came on a card but it was nothing special. I wanted to show you the closure
 which is my favorite kind for dangly earrings!



They are nice sized, but light, which I really like in earrings (but not in necklaces....I like heavy necklaces). I hate that stretched out ear lobe feeling. Even worse is when you can see in pictures how heavy the earrings are it gives me the willies but at the same time I love big earrings!(Yeah... I am weird like that.)

So, time to take these bad boys for a test drive!

I am a big fan! It is hard to tell in this picture, but they really sparkled in the bathroom lights!

(Sorry about the no-makeup frizzy haired mess!
Please just look at the ears and nothing in between!)

And zoom out a bit, this is what they look like when you are not all up in my business. I am really happy with them and can't wait to wear them in April. I think they will make regular appearances in my "fancy jewelry" rotation after the wedding.

Do you have any weird jewelry quirks or preferences? Did you buy things way out of order?

Hotel-Oh Well..

So... As I have learned already on this wedding journey, things do not always go as planned. You may remember that Mr. Aardvark had so awesomely offered to handle the hotel for our out of town guest. I thought it was all done and dusted.

We were going to set aside 30 rooms with the intention that we would add more if needed. Chances are they would be needed, because at our tally, we had between 50-60 roomfuls of people coming from far enough away to want a hotel room. However, not wanting to be on the hook for unsold rooms, we aimed low.

The hotel we were working with seemed ideal. The location was PERFECT, like walking from all of our venues perfect. The price per night was good. On top of all that, it was not a chain and it was one of the fancier hotels in Battle Creek! However, a few days after receiving our contract (but before the please-return-by-X-date-to-ensure-your-rooms date) I got a phone call from the event coordinator. They had double booked the rooms and there were, in fact, only 16 rooms left in the WHOLE HOTEL!

Whhhaaat??

Yes. There was a large group that had grown and now there were only 16 rooms! I was bummed out. Mr. Aardvark was furious! He does not get mad very often. I think I can count on one hand the times I have seen him actually, truly pissed. Well, ladies, this was one of those times. Something about being given the run around, and having our deal pushed aside in favor of a bigger client really got to him. (I have to say his passion for standing up for the little guy is kinda hot and part of why I am marrying him.)

We talked briefly about keeping the 16 rooms for our "VIPs" (read: bridal party and parents) due to the fact that, the day I received the contract, I went out and had the text parts of our invitations printed (what?? I know its crazy early... but I am DIYing and have hear it takes ages and things can (did) go wrong so I wanted to get started). Not only had we printed 100 "Rooms have been reserved for you at Hotel Wegiveyourroomsaway" but we had also spent a very.long.time. trimming to size and corner punching them. (Not going to lie, our invites are shaping up to be pretty badass. Can't wait to show them off!)

Poor Mr. A is covered in corners from punching out our invite.
 His hands are also starting to cramp.

 We (I) figured we could keep these hard earned info cards and just put another little card saying "we also have rooms here bla bla bla" in there somewhere. However, as the debacle continued, the service deteriorated and replies got slower and slower. We decided to drop the first hotel all together and find someone else.

There were a handful of options close to our venue. Some of which I crossed off the list right away because they were SUPER sketchy. (Like gross mattress in the back corner of the parking lot/four names is six months/ cop cars there all the time sketchy) But then, Papa Aardvark had an idea. There was a newly remodeled hotel downtown. It was not as fancy as the first but may be worth a shot. He went to check it out, and low and behold, it was really nice! AND we could reserve rooms without being on the hook if they did not all book! AND it was less expensive than the other hotel! AND our e-mails are responded to right away AND our phone calls answered!

You can bet your bippy Mr. Aardvark took care of business (again) and got a signed contract out right away! I also took care of business and reworked our info card for the invites... We have not printed this set yet but we will soon and have another long night of trimming and punching ahead of us!  and they will inform guests of the lovely Downtown Baymont Hotel in Battle Creek.

Lovely! Not super fancy, but cool and nice and a great price! Perfect!

My dad took, and sent, lots of  pictures when he was there checking it out. It has an indoor pool and hot tub, rooms with kitchenettes, rooms with Jacuzzis, and is still walking distance from our venues. I am really pleased with how this all worked out. I will say again, "if this is the worse wedding-planning problem we have, we are doing great!"

Proves the point plan-B is for Plan-Better.

Have you had any snags with vendors you thought were perfect? How did you handle them? Or let others handle them?