The W.I.C. and How to Avoid It.

Perhaps I should answer the question, "What is the W.I.C.?" before I launch into an explanation of how and why it should/can be avoided.

The W.I.C. refers to the Wedding Industrial Complex. I am almost positive I did not come up with this term on my own, but I cannot for the life of me remember where I heard it first. I apologize. The W.I.C. has gotten bigger and badder in the last 20-ish years and I blame the media! (why not it seems like everyone else does...) The W.I.C. is a monster that brides are bombarded with daily from the time  they become engaged until they come back from the honeymoon. It creates a HUGE focus on a wedding with hardly any mention of a marriage! It can be is so easy to get sucked into and so hard to climb out of. It encourages a sense of entitlement and need for things and services that are totally superfluous (I love that word) to the marriage itself.




Original Illustration of W.I.C. Monster. By yours truly

 Now, don't get me wrong, I am not saying that a wedding is not a beautiful thing that should be enjoyed and celebrated. I am not saying that you shouldn't buy pretty things or hire professionals to help. I am not saying that you should not splurge on pretties for the special occasion. I am saying that you should be aware of what you want and what you like and not let the magazines and trade shows and blogs (even this one) tell you what you need.

In the beginning of the wedding planning journey Mr. Aardvark and I had a fairly easy time avoiding the W.I.C. We had a pretty small budget, so, many of the things that can pull you in were out of our sight line. Then, The Parents jumped in with their amazing and generous financial contributions and doors started opening left and right. Suddenly things I never considered, I now needed. I was willing to throw a fit over not having something I previously considered over-kill. I was out of control.



This is what I was like... (personal photo)



Lucky for me, Mr. Aardvark is very patient and level headed. He listened to all of my tantrums and asked some simple questions like, "Why do we need that?" Sometimes, I was able to answer. For example we now have a videographer because it was a nice way to capture the vows and reading that pictures could not. .  Sometimes, however I was not able to come up with an answer that made any sense. We do not need a second shooter for photo or video, for example, even if such-and-such an article said it was great, and       so-and-so photography studio highly recommends it (not the studio we picked by the way). There will be tons of people besides our very talented professionals taking pictures all day long. There will be so many priceless moment captured it was truly absurd that I was trying to talk Mr. Aardvark into doubling out photo/ video budget for my whims.

Now I am on the lookout for the W.I.C. I am ready to spot it and stop it in it's tracks. I have learned asking a simple "Why do I want this?" has gone a long way towards A) saving our budget and B) keeping our wedding "us" and not a competition with anyone else who has ever been married or is planning a wedding. (Yeah I can get a bit competitive sometimes...)

How else can the  W.I.C. be spotted? One of the tell tail signs of the W.I.C. is the phrase, "Must Have". I get (lots of) e-mails every day from various wedding vendors with ideas, sales, specials, or promotions , and inevitably at least one of them will have a "must have" list of some kind or other. I'm pretty sure the only things I "must have" in order to be wed are, my fiancé, a priest and a witness (maybe some legal documents if you want to get fancy).

Remember, even if your cousin had it, or that girl you went to high school with, even if it has gotten top ratings in all the bridal magazines, make sure its something you really want as part of your (you being plural for yourself and fiancé) wedding.  And if it is, go for it!

Ok, I will step off my soap box now.

Did you, like me, fall victim to the Wedding Industrial Complex? If not, how have you avoided it?